Friday, July 5, 2013

Thoughts and Prayers


Are our thoughts and prayers really with them?

I received an email last week from an acquaintance, telling me that someone in their family was sick.

When I replied, I mentioned that my thoughts and prayers were with them.

But after sending the email, I realized that I hadn't, in fact, said any actual prayer.

So I closed my eyes and quickly said one.

And, though that fit the "letter of the law," it most definitely didn't fit the spirit.

In fact, after I did it, I felt a bit like a hypocrite.

And I wonder how many of us are doing the same thing, using "thoughts and prayers" because it's easier, because grief has a way of turning us into mumbling strangers.

Now, I don’t believe we're doing this intentionally.

After all, knowing what to say when someone has gone through something terrible can be hard.

But I've also noticed that, now, everyone seems to be using it. In the wake of tornadoes and school shootings. But also from defense attorneys, speaking to victims’ families on behalf of their indicted clients, to spokespeople, speaking on behalf of their indicted companies.

Now, I'm not saying these people are being insincere. Only they know.

But what I am saying is that "thoughts and prayers" can quickly become a cliché.

And I can't think of many things worse than saying we'll pray for someone, and then not doing it.

So, next time, instead of saying “thoughts and prayers,” I’m going to say what I really mean. Like “I feel so bad about what you’re going through, my friend. Please let me know if you need anything – and I just said a prayer for you.”

Maybe it will take me a few more minutes, and maybe it will be harder to find just the right words.

But isn't it the thought that counts?

That, and the prayers.


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