I met a man I hadn’t seen in a long time. He had a purpose.
And you knew it the minute you saw him. It was in his eyes, the way they looked right at you.
It was in what he said. And didn’t.
Not wasting words for trivialities or trifles. In what he did. He had a point of view, and a purpose. Because he knew that, in the great and grand scheme of things, our time is short.
So we’d better get on with waking up. To treat our moments like they won’t come again.
I hadn’t seen him in a long time. He’d lost his way awhile back, amongst the bramble and brush of taking trains and making meetings and checking his carry-on bags. And, yet, here he was again.
To share his simple truth. That we were born to be awake. To notice our hands.
But if, instead, we choose to sleep. To let it all go by, with distant horns honking and children faintly laughing in the playground outside our closed window, while we turn off the alarm and lay our heads back down into the pocket of our pillow. Then we have also chosen not to care.
I met a man today who reminded me of this. He spoke with passion, and compassion. As if he’d recently faced his own failure. And somehow found the will to start again. His words were water to my parched lips. Funny thing was, after awhile, I realized that I’d seen him somewhere before. And then, after a long and careful breath, I realized something else.
I realized that man was me.
Copyright 2011, James R. Warda. All rights reserved.
I wish I could see my Mom and Dad this Christmas.
My father died in 2000. My mother in 2004.
And I was just thinking how nice it would be to see them again.
To come into their house on Christmas Eve, out of the cold into the warm. With my wife and kids beside me.
My Mom would come up in her apron and jingle bell necklace, glasses pushed up on her head, and kiss me. Well, to be honest, she’d probably kiss the kids and my wife first. After all, when you get married, you automatically get second billing. Then, when you have kids, all bets are off. You may not get that hello kiss until it’s time to say goodbye.
Then my Mom would bring us into the family room, with the fire going and the Christmas tree bursting with presents. The whole house would be filled with color and conversation, and music and light.
As my Mom would go off to get us punch, my Dad would wake from his nap.
He’d rise slowly from the couch, and give me a quick, rough kiss on the cheek.
Yes, I might just get that first kiss from my Dad.
The whole family would be there, too. My sister and brothers and their husband and wives. And my parents’ grandchildren and great grandchildren. Also some good friends.
We would eat, laugh, sing, play games, and open presents, and probably eat some more. Until later, when we’d walk the sugared up, almost sleeping, kids to the vans.
But just before we left, I’d stop to kiss my Mom and Dad, and hug them, a little longer.
Yes, it would be nice to see them again.
Actually, I just did.
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Copyright 2011, James R. Warda. All rights reserved.
Four Christmas songs are stuck in my head.
Deep in my cerebral cortex, or whatever they call that squishy part in the middle.
Like “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.”
What exactly is the deal here? This kid comes down the stairs and sees Mom making out with Santa?
Are they not then scarred for life? Thinking that not only is Mom cheating on Dad, but she’s doing it with the man who is supposed to be one of the kindest people on Earth?
Then, there’s “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”
I know I need to let it go. BUT I CAN’T.
First they mock him. Then they kick him out of their games. Then when times are tough, they come looking for him and beg for his help.
With friends like that…
Or how about “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”? At one point, they’re sharing scary ghost stories. Ghost stories! That’s Halloween! Just about two months too late, guys.
And don’t even get me started on “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.”
A bunch of thugs invade my house on the premise of wishing me a happy holiday, then demand figgy pudding before they’ll go.
Well, first of all, I’ve never made figgy pudding. Wouldn’t even know where to start.
And, even if I did know how to make it, I wouldn’t. It sounds gross. Might as well call it lumpy pudding.
And, even if I did make it and did like it, why on Earth would I give it to you hooligans?
Now get out of my house before I throw a candy cane at you!
Quite a collection of songs, aren’t they? Infidelity, betrayal and blackmail.
Merry Christmas everyone!
I believe.
I believe in love because my wife taught me how.
I believe that a dance with fear leaves you winded, yet wiser.
I believe that having children has made me a better man.
I believe Speed Racer knew that Racer X was really his brother.
I believe that truth tastes like strawberries - the really big ones.
I believe in friends who stand by you, no matter the cost.
I believe you have to suffer for your passion.
I believe that the happiest people are those with the fewest masks.
I believe that too many people stay at jobs they hate to get more vacation days so that they can spend more time away from the jobs they hate.
I believe that we give life its meaning.
I believe that John really did believe in what he did with the Beatles.
I believe that liars run from the truth like vampires from the sun.
I believe that the Force is always with us.
I believe that Rudolph never really got over the fact that the other reindeers wouldn't let him play in their games.
I believe that courage works its way from the heart to the hands.
I believe that knowing yourself is one of the finest things you can do.
I believe in living passionately, leaving nothing inside, bringing it hard and fast like a steam train, and touching souls.
I believe in making yourself vulnerable to find your strength.
I believe in listening for the sound of your own voice.
I believe in you.
What do you believe in?
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Copyright 2011, James R. Warda. All rights reserved.
Taken from "Where Are We Going So Fast?" by James Warda (Rowman & Littlefield, 2001)
Happy Thankstaking Day!
Yes, I know, it’s usually “Thanksgiving.”
But, for today, let’s just focus on receiving thanks.
There’s an art to humbly doing so. But it can still be difficult.
I know that, for me, I tend to want to thank my thanker, which can lead to an endless loop.
“Thank you, Jim. You really helped me.”
“Oh, not a problem, Frank. Thank you for your kind words.”
“No, no, thank YOU, Jim. You went out of your way and I won’t forget it.”
“Well, I appreciate your saying that. Thanks again, Frank.”
And it goes on.
When, really, by not welcoming someone’s thanks, you are actually doing them a disservice.
Keeping them from fully expressing their gratitude and knowing it has been accepted.
So, today, I’m going to try something new.
If I help someone and they thank me for it, I’m going to simply say “You’re welcome.”
Not, “You’re welcome, and thanks.”
Or, “You’re welcome, and how ‘bout them Cubs?”
Instead, just “You’re welcome,”
Then, I’ll shut up.
Not for long. And not to be rude.
But to let the circle complete itself.
The one in which someone needed help.
And I gave it.
And, next, they needed to express their appreciation.
And I received it.
Which is a gift to them – and me.
As accepting someone’s thanks reminds us that we’re all in this together, that we can’t always get up that cliff without a hand reaching down.
So, this Thanksgiving, remember that for everyone who gives thanks, someone must take it.
With that, let’s eat.
And, oh, by the way, thank you for reading my words.
It means a lot to me.
It’s time
It's time to get a little crazy.
It's time to not play it safe.
It's time to love again, no matter what scars your heart holds.
It's time to believe, despite the fact that the last time you did, you ended up betrayed.
It's time to stand upon the feet you were given and find some peace in the rain.
It's time.
It's time to move.
It's time to risk again, to walk into fear with nothing but a pocketful of faith and your steely, steely eyes.
It's time to tell yourself that you belong, so what's all the fuss about.
It's time to fly though your wings are still wet.
It's time.
It's time to update your resume with a line about how great you do the thing you do that you were put here to do when you do it.
It's time to finally understand that everything is within your reach if you'd just stick out your hand.
It's time to show us how to make it better.
It's time.
It's really, truly, simply time.
So, if it is, and if we know exactly what we need to do to get started, what's stopping us?
Is it fear?
Or is it the tangy taste of anticipation?
No matter, because we have a responsibility, you and I.
To begin.
And there's no time like the present.
Because it's time.
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*Taken from "Where Are We Going So Fast?: Finding the Sacred in Everyday Moments" (2001, Rowman & Littlefield)
I saw God in a pew yesterday.
Yesterday, Gina and I were in church with my son and daughter.
As we stood, I looked over and saw a father arrive with his teenage son. His son appeared to have a more significant type of autism, but I’m only guessing by the little I know and what I saw.
At times, throughout the mass, the boy would rock back and forth, and fling his arms. Once, he also yelled.
And that is when I saw God.
As the boy whipsawed his arms, the father forcefully but gently grabbed him, and held him close. Then he leaned over and whispered into the boy’s ear. All the while smiling.
Soon the boy calmed down.
Then the mother and sister joined them.
The mother on one side of the boy. The father on the other. And the sister on the end. All of them alternately hugging and holding him, while smiling and talking quietly into his ear.
As I listened to the words of love shared by a man over two thousand years ago, I looked over and saw that love come to life.
And then I looked to my right. My wife and daughter, their profiles so perfect and so much the same. And my own teenage son, tall now, with a face stretching between boy and man.
Right there was the beauty that can sometimes bring me to tears.
That can often leave me unable to find the words to describe it.
Life filled with love and joy and a mess of flaws, pain and fear.
All moments that will never come again.
If you miss them the first time, you’ll miss them forever.
So stay awake.
Please.
