Panic in the Butter Aisle

Panic in the butter aisle.

My wife, Gina, handed me a grocery list on my way out the door.

Which struck fear into the very core of my being.

Because I knew what awaited me. That is, though there might only have been three simple items on the list, once I got to the store, I would find that, for each of those three simple items, there would be multiple variations modified by multiple adjectives that, for me, a simple and common man, would be undecipherable, unfathomable and, most important, unable to allow me to go home until I figured it out.

Lincoln had the Civil War.

I faced “One pint of buttermilk.”

Scientists have striven for ages to pry Earth’s secrets from her clasped hands.

While I have striven for over ten minutes to decide which kind of cheese to buy.

So there I stood, with the words “Salted Butter” in front of me. And butter is the worst. Multiple variations and sizes. Everything from “Unsalted” to “Salted and Sweet.”

Which is when I almost gave in and called home.

Yes, my wife has learned that, when I go to the store, she has to keep her phone handy. That’s because I’ll likely be calling home for more details about items on the list.

But, instead, I defined myself.

Right there in the butter aisle, I made a stand – for myself and for all men. Like William Wallace in “Braveheart,” except I yelled “I will buy the salted and sweet butter!” instead of “Freedom!” A little longer, yes, but just as powerful.

And my decision will echo through the years.

But then came the cheese aisle.

Where’s my phone?

Uneventful Days

"Give thanks for uneventful days."

My sister's saying comes from when my parents were alive, and were both in the same hospital at the same time, having had bypass surgeries within weeks of each other.

And, though they both just had major surgery and were several floors apart, they still found a way to bicker - usually through my sister and me, who ran back and forth between the two rooms.

It was a crazy time. And, after awhile, it took its toll. Because, unfortunately, caretakers don't often take care of themselves.

Then, after their surgeries, they were never the same, and were in and out of doctors for years.

Which led to my sister's saying.

She realized that, because so many days are stressful, because every day seems to bring a new anxiety, whether it's about a parent, or a child, or a bill that you just can't pay, sometimes the greatest blessing can simply be an uneventful day.

A day that stands out because it doesn't.

Of course, when we're young, we want excitement.

But, as we get older, the things that disrupt our lives and plans often become so much bigger and more frequent, that all we want is to take a breath.

So, now, when my sister and I talk, we try to recognize when we're having an uneventful day. When no one's sick. When our jobs are going well. When, for at least a day, the only thing we have to worry about is having nothing to worry about.

And, on those days, we take a moment to appreciate the quiet and routine. When nothing much happens.

And nothing never seemed sweeter.



Copyright 2010, James. R. Warda. All rights reserved.